am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Vodka?
Forever.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
