where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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