Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
