She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
