Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
