good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
