It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Randomize
