Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
