I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
