They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
