He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize