Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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