I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
