I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
