Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
