Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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