Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm at about main and main street
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
