i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
