In the future we'll all be gay
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
