New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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