I wish I could punch you in the face.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
