Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
