the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
