We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
