i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
