So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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