just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
