This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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