I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
