Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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