K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my phone needs a breathalizer
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
