I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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