She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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