Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
