there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Also, beer. Big fan.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
