i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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