I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
