ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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