He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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