this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
