Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
