Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Randomize