Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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