well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
