How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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