my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
