Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
porn star boner night. come get it.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize