can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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