don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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