Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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