Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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