Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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