o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
