You don't have asthma, your pregnant
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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