i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
