I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
