I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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