You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Randomize
