so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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