im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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