My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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