Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
