Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
