I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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