He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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