I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
