I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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