you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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