Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize