Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
