instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
