are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
